Judgement

I found myself this past weekend in my counseling skills class trying to prepare myself, for what I thought was going to be the worst part of the class...ROLEPLAYING! I have always hated role playing in the past because of many reasons, but a lot of times it is because it is done in front of the class while everyone is watching, or your partner (as well as myself) has a hard time making things serious and not laughing the whole time. However, this past weekend, a lot of things changed for me, even my idea of role playing.
In this class was a woman who I never liked having class with, the reason was that she constantly talked and asked questions. She had great points and questions (most of the time) but it took her 5 minutes of explaining to get to the actual point/question. It drove me insane! During the role play time we were instructed to always go with someone different, everyone in our class wanted to avoid this woman, and so partnered up fast, I decided to take the jump and be with this woman. I thought it was going to be the worst role-play of my life, when in turn it ended up being the best.
I found out things about this woman that I never would have guessed, she was nothing like I had imagined. I knew the woman had a good heart to begin with but I just couldn't stand her, I couldn't bring myself past her "in-class personality" but this role-play brought me out of my "judgement shell." I truly learned the meaning to the phrase "Don't judge a book by it's cover" I know it sounds cheesy but I did. I learned about her past and even told her about how I felt when I was with her in class and she expanded on why she takes so long to ask a question or raise a point. Although I still find myself getting a little annoyed in class when she begins to speak, I find myself being more understanding and really listening to what she is saying. I have even noticed that as I see others rolling their eyes and making faces I want to defend her myself.

Being in the counseling field, means having to learn to put judgements aside, and not judge your clients because no matter what they are people too and I am there to help them. So needless to say my thoughts of role-playing have been changed and I think I have opened up a little bit about the need to explore further in a person's background and understand them better before I am so quick to judge. It's only been a couple of days since this new-found experience of mine, but I think it has changed me a little and I am hoping that I continue every day to practice what I learned over the weekend not only about people but most importantly what I have learned about myself through the weekend and my "sessions" with a "therapist."

I invite anyone and everyone to do the same as I have done. Take that extra step in really getting to know someone a little bit or just thinking about them and why they might be doing the things they do. It may not make you love them or even like them, but it may help you to understand them.

The Paintbrush

Paint Brush

Author: Unknown
I keep my paint brush with me

Wherever I may go,In case I need to cover up

So the real me doesn’t show.

I’m so afraid to show you me,

Afraid of what you’ll do – that

You might laugh or say mean things.

I’m afraid I might lose you.

I’d like to remove all my paint coats

To show you the real, true me,

But I want you to try and understand,

I need you to accept what you see.

So if you’ll be patient and close your eyes,

I’ll strip off all my coats real slow.

Please understand how much it hurts

To let the real me show.

Now my coats are all stripped off.

I feel naked, bare and cold,

And if you still love

Me with all that you see,

You are my friend, pure as gold.

I need to save my paint brush, though,

And hold it in my hand,

I want to keep it handy

In case somebody doesn’t understand.

So please protect me, my dear friend

And thanks for loving me true,

But please let me keep my paint brush with me

Until I love me, too.

The new year....

Well, I spent new years eve at home with my boyfriend and our dog. Our dog (Apollo) got into a fight with a wire fence and took a good chunk out of his side and had to get staples the day before New Year's Eve, so needless to say we had to stay home with him. It was actually quite a pleasant night, we had the house to ourselves, had some drinks and watched movies. It was a nice little night at home.
I am excited to see what the new year brings, I am hopefully starting it off right and saving some money for the rest of the year for whatever I need and a few things I want ;) I hope that there will be a few travels and that friends may travel here to visit. I also am hoping that my position at work goes full time soon so that way I can start to earn my PTO!
I have been reflecting on many things over the past couple weeks, and one of those things has been Wisconsin and my friends. I am not making these comments towards all my friends, there are just a few that it is really meant for. Although I have been gone a short amount of time, I have noticed many changes in myself as well as my friends. I don't hear from many people until I get back to Wisconsin, then everyone wants to hang out and be my friend like they used to be. I am just not buying into that anymore. I loved coming home and seeing people the first couple times and now the excitement dies. I have started to ponder the decision of never going back. I know it sounds crazy and harsh, and I probably sound like a self-centered bitch, but I really don't care. If friends that I used to have can't keep in contact with me while I'm gone, why should they bother when I come back, why should I?
I have one friend who contacts me at least every other week or so to see how I am doing. That is great, it is even more often that I would ask for. There are a few friends I would like to hear from at least once a month or even two months. I know people are busy and have lives and don't think about me all the time, but it would be nice to know that someone thinks about me occasionally. The friend who contacts me all the time, is not someone I would have guessed I would have become close with or who would stay in contact with me, but I am really glad they have it means a lot to me that they do.
So in other words I wonder if it is even worth it to come back and visit Wisconsin...I mean why should I be a friend of "convenience" if you will. I don't want a friend who only talks to me when I am in Wisconsin or the time is coming close to me visiting and then they talk to me to see when we can hang out. I want a friend that is concerned about my well being and wants to come see me not just wait for me to come around.
Anyway....I have rambled on too long about that. So I hope that the new year will bring new friendships, some saved up wealth, and I hope that I will be close to graduating by the end of this year also. I think that I have many lessons to be learned this year, I hope that I take each one in and appreciate it for what it is. So good luck to everyone in 2009, may this year be better than the last.