Homework

Once again I am left pondering the reason of why I am such a procrastinator. I sit at home on a Friday night rushing to do my homework. Surprisingly enough, out of the four papers that are due this weekend, I have finished 2 of them! However, the important, long ones I am still working on. I didn't buy the books for the course because most of the time we never use them and they never have the information needed for the important tests we need to take at the end. So when it comes to writing my 16 question essay final exam, where 6 of the questions are in reference to the books I didn't buy, I am stressing just a small bit. What I should be stressing majorly about is my 15-20 page paper that is due sometime this weekend (I can't remember what day) however I am not that stressed. I picked out my articles for the paper I will be writing and emailed them to myself so I can print them off tomorrow morning and read them during class and so I believe that I will be prepared to write this paper the majority of Saturday evening. I do so well under pressure and at the last moment with my papers, it bodes well for me to wait. However, it can get stressful also, when all you want to do is relax, sleep, be outside or just be done with this class. Well, wish me luck I am off to try and finish my exam and hopefully I will be able to write my other paper tomorrow night.

Lunch n Learn, but no Lunch

At work we have the opportunity to go to talks titled Lunch n Learns. These are about an hour long and are on very different subjects and most of the time you bring your lunch and eat for the hour. However, yesterday we had a No Lunch Lunch n Learn, hosted by our Histology group. Histology does some amazing things and very different things, but they also have the hard job of performing autopsies...on children. I was amazed at how much I didn't know about the Histology department and I never knew that they actually talked with the families of the children having the autopsies done. They have a very interesting and hard job that they do 5 days a week.
Well, anyway, the supervisor of histology (Sara) took us down the the 'Pathology Suite' (the morgue) to show us the grieving room for the family where they view the body and also where the autopsies are done. We heard some sad stories with amazing endings and we heard sad stories without amazing endings. They do more than just autopsies, they also take any part that is removed from a still living child and basically disect it for research and for answers on how and where the tumor, cancer, mass, etc. spread. I know this all sounds horribly disgusting and sad but this is the world I live in 5 days a week. I don't have nearly the experience or interaction that histology employees do, but I know about the kids and their test results, if they pass away and I do see them on a daily basis. I also think it is very fascinating and everyday research comes to a new finding, and these kids and their families help that research.
Anyways...I got to see a lot of different things yesterday; an oversized heart from an 11 year old, a fatty tumor mass that was removed (child is still alive) and I also got to hold part of a tumor that was on a child's liver. I know it is sad but I found it interesting and it also helped me to realize all of the opportunities I have at Children's Hospital. I am in a place that I can learn so much about anything I have never known about. It is also amazing the work that we do at Children's Hospital. So often the laboratory is looked over, in all of the departments, for the work that they do. Which is funny because we are the ones who give out the results, rush testing and find out what is wrong with a patient to hopefully start the treatment and help them live. But yet, everyday we are all looked over by the people in the hospital. I don't think that the parents or families overlook us because so often we rush samples for them and they are so grateful, but we never see the recognition that we should. It is sad and histology proved to be one of the hardest jobs in the laboratory to me. I never knew what they did and I have a better understanding and respect for them. I just wanted to share that.

Puppy Training

As many of you know our dog Apollo has some behavioral issues...He has a severe case of separation anxiety which used to be tons worse than it is now. He used to tear up carpet, scratch the doors, tear down blinds and rip apart anything he could find. Now he just gets overly excited when you come home, oh and if you leave the garbage out he gets in that or if you leave the remote on the couch he eats that too (we went through 3 last month plus a dog collar remote). However it is still tons better. Now when you come home it is like he wants to attack you and lick you to death, and for an 80lb dog, that isn't hard to do. So we have to try and hold him down or ignore him and pray that he doesn't get caught in my huge purse and take me down or I'm done for. Also, his tail is so long and hard that everytime he gets overly excited, it hits the wall hard and splits open and covers us and the walls in BLOOD!! Exciting right?! I know, I make you want a dog....
He really is a very sweet dog, but like most dogs that get adopted they have some issues. He also does some leash pullying and jumping up and other things that need some fine tuning. So we called a home trainer that is coming to our apartment next week for a 2 1/2 hour session to help work on these issues. She will come back in 3 weeks for a follow up and than after that she has a lifetime guarentee. Anytime anything happens with Apollo she will come back for free! She is also with a training company that is completely humane in training methods, works without treats, and is rated #1 in the US by SPCA! So I am hopeful and confident that she can help us and Apollo. When we are around Apollo just lays around all day and plays when we get him riled up to play...but when we are gone he is a completely different dog. So we are hoping that she can make him the perfect dog for us and hopefully settle him and show him who is the leader of our pack! Wish us good luck and I will keep you updated...

Lia Sophia

Well, I have officially began my jewelry advising!!! At the end of April I became an official advisor for the jewelry company Lia Sophia!! I am very excited about it, I have been trying to be an advisor for almost 3 years now, but things have always gotten in the way. I finally did it! So I had my first party at the end of April, a friend of mine was kind enough to throw a party at her house, of course she did receive tons of free jewelry and great deals on other pieces....LOL Anyway. I am really excited about it. I think the jewelry is reasonably priced compared to other jewelry companies like Silpada (spelling?) and they have better deals than any of them as well, plus a lifetime guarentee! So if in 10 years you are sick of something, just return/exchange it. Everything is real and genuine except the diamonds and the jewelry is beautiful and there are a lot of different styles. I know it is not for everyone but if anyone knows me, I am very loyal to any company I am with and can't help but get excited, especially since I get such a great deal as well on jewelry and make some cash on the side! Well, if you want to look at the jewelry or book a party you can also go to www.liasophia.com/amberb and that is my personal website. So this is a very small update but hey...it works!

Breaks

So again...I am writing to release my frustrations, just bear with me. :)

My boyfriend is a wonderful, sweet and hard working guy. Yes he had some issues last year being un-employed for 8 months. It's not like he wasn't looking and applying but times are hard and you still have to have some pride. He was un-employed for 8 months, does that really mean that he has to be punished now and continuously criticized?! I think not. Give him a break for once in his life. I mean really. He has a job that he works 40+ hours a week at, he shows up early everyday and works his full shifts, unlike others, and yet he still can't catch a break from a certain someone. You are not GOD! You are not the chosen one to "bless" everyone with your opinions and chastize everyone for what they have done wrong. We all make mistakes in life and everyone is allowed to do that. I am not saying he made a mistake because being unemployed was not by choice. But here someone sits and tells him to apply at a McDonalds or Taco Bell because that is what they would do...really? REALLY?! Is that really what you would do? Many things are easy to say when you are not in that situation, try being there and find out what really happens, until then keep your opinions to yourself. Sometimes, raising hell and giving someone shit day in and day out, doesn't make them stronger, it makes them weaker. So when you think you are helping your not! Try showing some compassion for someone who may be depressed because they can't find work, despite many attempts and resumes sent out. But now, he has a job and he takes 1 day off, 1 DAY! and you can't keep your mouth shut? My god! Give it up! It is his life, his choices, and everyone deserves a break every now and then. There are sometimes in life when spouting your own opinion is not the best idea. Look at what he has done, look how far he has come. In the last year and a half I have been with Matt he has come so far and he is such a great person despite the criticism he receives. For once, all I ask for is a pat on the back and job well done. Give him a break.

Missing...

I do not miss Wisconsin, I should start with that. I do not miss being in a small little town with the same people doing the same thing. I love being in a bigger city with a beautiful view and beautiful weather all year round (yes we have occasional bad days too but still...), I love having the opportunity to choose from a million and one things to do every day. Whether I do all those things is another story. However, I look at pictures from the past and I miss the memories. I miss having the friends that you thought would always be there for you no matter what, I miss being able to trust people and have a good time not worrying about what they will think the next day because they already know all your stories. It's hard to find the good friends, ones that you can trust all of your stories with. I am struggling with a lot of things in life and everyday I feel like there is no one to talk to about it. Yes I have Matt, and he hears about all of it but he never knows what to say. Yes I have a therapist that is helping immensly on so many levels, but she isn't a "friend." I have a few others that I trust but I don't feel the same closeness with them that I used to feel with the people I grew up with. They all know my stories, my family, my life. They know why I act the way I do...not that it matters now because I am different than I ever was in La Crosse. How do you get those friends back? How do you make new friends with the same qualities? This is why people move back home so fast, it is hard to find out the friends that you thought were your best friends, really aren't. It's also hard to leave those memories and those friends behind never to be found again. I never want to leave Denver, that is not what I am saying. I love it here and I really am the happiest I have ever been and I am also on a new growth journey that is hard but worth it. But in the same token, I wish I didn't have to lose the friends I did, and I wish I could tell them that.