As my previous post has mentioned, I have learned a lot so far this year and am still learning a lot.
As my internship came to a close a lot of things have happened in life:
I 'graduated' from school. I now am considered a person with a Masters degree in Clinical Mental Health in Counseling. Am I really done with school? No classes, no papers, no internship.
I was offered a job doing what I thought I always wanted to do and where I thought I wanted to be. I struggled over that decision and what would happen with working at Children's and in the end, after getting all the facts, I turned down the job and have no regrets and remain at Children's.
There are some amazing things happening at Children's Hospital with our laboratory and with myself. Although it is taking some time, I know what the end result will be and am excited and scared.
I have learned a lot about family and accepting those in family that you weren't able to accept before. Although I still get hurt, I remind myself that they are who they are and I will never change that, so all I can do is accept it. I also learned how much I love being apart of a big family and having people around me that I love and love me back. They think of me and ask how I am doing, if I passed an exam that was important - and remember that I took it.
Matt and I have been talking about wedding stuff, and although it is still a ways away...it makes me feel good about being with him, where we are and being apart of his family someday. That doesn't mean I love my family less, it just means I have found more, a lot more ;), family to love and I know they are always there for us.
I've always had a sense of humor...sometimes a little bit of a cynical one, but I have now learned more than ever how important humor and laughter are. Without them, my life would be sad and dark, but with them I have love and I appreciate things and I can learn how to better accept things.
I have learned a lot about people...I've learned it is okay to say and accept that I don't like everyone and I don't need to. I also don't need to hide to others that I don't like that person, life is too short to be fake. If I work with someone I don't like and I can admit it, I can come to work and still do my job and have good communication with that person because I don't have some hidden emotion hiding that. Not every one in the world is going to like everyone, and if that other person is someone who constantly lies, belittles people and believes they are better than everyone then I don't need to like them. I do however need to respect them in the fact that they are a person and they have a job to do. Recently...I have found this exact paragraph and sayings have helped me so much.
I learned I HATE lying...I hate when people lie to me, I hate it even more when I show facts of how someone has lied and they continue to lie. Don't lie to me...I lose respect for you. But in that same token, don't hate me for telling the truth.
I have learned that people don't like honesty, I tell the truth and I am who I am. I stand by me and my decisions. I am not perfect and I am okay with that. I have flaws and some of them I am working on and others I am not and I am okay with that too, if you don't like it...not my problem, that's yours.
Along with a few things above, I have learned that I cannot change a person, their thoughts or their actions, all I can do is change my reaction and myself. I may not always do this, but I do believe it and try to practice it.
I have learned how much punctuality is important to me. When you have a job that starts at 8, that means you are at your desk and ready to work at 8. Not 8:10 or 8:20 - 8:00! Unless you work for yourself and you have no co-workers than it doesn't matter does it. When you work with a team and you work for someone, you show up on time because that is your job and it is your job to be there for your team. In my world when you show up late you are being disrespectful to your supervisor, your co-workers, your job and yourself...to me it means you don't care enough to find a way to get there on time. I also recognize that not every day will people be on time...traffic, kids, alarms not going off, etc. However, that is every once in a while...when it becomes every day that you are late and most days it is by almost a half hour; there is a problem. If you want to be a leader and you want to show that you are there to do your job, you show up on time. This lesson was ingrained in my head when I worked at Rudy's...I will forever live by the phrase: "Early is on time, On time is late, and Late is UNACCEPTABLE."
In the end of all this I have learned a lot, a lot I didn't put here, but I have learned the most about myself and my reactions and emotions. I am trying very hard to change how I react to people and things and remember that everything is on me. I can only change myself, my reactions and my emotions, I cannot change the other persons. I often remember the serenity prayer during hard times and for a laugh...I remember the song "Pray for You" by Jaron and The Long Road to Love.
