Therapy

Recently I have started therapy and along with therapy comes the stereotype of being in therapy and I think that view is unfair and would like to clear the air. Therapy is not only for the people that some consider "crazy" or with mental disorders, therapy is for anyone and everyone. It is a great opportunity to learn about yourself and grow from it. Everyone in life has difficult days, and sometimes it easier to talk about those difficult days with someone who isn't directly involved with your life and can give you a different perspective on things.
When I began telling people I was in therapy the common reaction was "WHY?! What is wrong with you?!" NOTHING is wrong with me, I am in therapy because I have some baggage as do most people, but I want to learn from it and grow for it. What kind of therapist would I become if I was never once the client? I think that therapy is a wonderful experience that can teach a person so much about themselves and learn how to work through whatever problems or issues they may be dealing with in life. It's okay to be in therapy just to be in therapy and have someone to talk to and listen to. I sometimes get sad when I hear people say, "I know I have issues but I don't want to know what they are and I don't want to deal with them." I only say sad because I don't know another appropriate word for it. I just feel like therapy is such a great release and now having been through the process I believe in it even more than I did when I began my masters counseling program.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I am having an amazing experience in therapy and the breakthroughs I have had have really made me think and are helping me grow. So it is okay for someone to be in therapy, you don't have to have a "problem" or be "crazy" to be in therapy; it's just another way to find yourself and grow.

Maturity

Sometimes in life it is not about how confident you are in your abilities and how far you have come and how fast. Sometimes it is about the life lessons you have learned, the experiences you have gone through and what you have taken from them. I am recently learning that those life expierences are very important in making you who you are, but only if you take the most out of every expierence, good and bad. Everyday I learn more and more that age really is just a number, and that your real age is based on your maturity level, mannerisms and demeanor towards others as well as yourself. It is important to look at your past and where you are now and learn from all you have been through. Don't take things for granted, and just because you have been able to go straight through life without many setbacks, doesn't mean that you are all you believe you are. Sometimes having too much confidence can cost you.
I am continuously told that I am excluded from the group of people that are considered too young, that are my age. The reason for that time and time again is because of my life experiences, what I have gone through and what I have taken from it. I didn't get everything I ever wanted, I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I didn't come from the greatest family background with the greatest mother daughter relationship. I have also lost many people in my life and have gone through many types of heartache and I have learned from all of it, and it has made me think differently about my choices in life and my actions, it has increased my maturity level.
The reason that I am even expressing this is because sometimes it is hard to be around people who have it all and don't even know it, and sometimes that is frustrating. They don't know it because they haven't had the chance to realize what it is like to not have it all. All I am saying is really take a good look at who you have become and what brought you to where you are. Look at everything in your life and learn from it because in the end it can be your flaw...

FRUSTRATED!

Just real quick venting time for me....

I find it so interesting how some people (not everyone) expect you to be at their bec and call and want you to listen to and hang on every word and story they ever have to share. You have to show and feel every emotion that they are expecting of you and give your full attention, but when it comes time for you to share something, whether it be minimal or serious, the same is not given in return. Seriously, I just don't get it. Sometimes double standards are hard to understand. You can be overly sensitive but other cannot have that same sensitivity, they are just being stupid? How does that work really?

I apologize but I am just so fed up with some things and some people. I take time to listen to stories that are small and minimal but when I want to share something you do not take the same respect for me or others, you just blow them off...forget it.

Visitors

Last weekend Jason came to visit, and this time he stayed a whole 2 and 1/2 days!!! LOL I know it doesn't sound much but he came in on Friday early afternoon and left on a Monday early afternoon. Normally he has come in on Saturday afternoon and left early Monday morning which doesn't leave a whole lot of time for us to spend together. Although, everytime Jason comes it ends up being bad weather! For instance, he was supposed to come about a month ago and didn't make it out, the weather was forcasted for rain/snow but ended up being gorgeous, and this last time I think it was cloudy and rainy the whole time. But he did actually get to see some mountains this time, even though we wanted to go into the mountains for sightseeing, with the forecasts of snow we didn't think it was a good idea.
Jason has been out here 3 times!!! In the 2 years I have lived out here he has been the only one to come out, and we have a blast even though we are old ;) We didn't make it out on Friday night for many reasons but we still managed to get some wine and beer and stayed home and drank and talked. On Saturday I made him go to a birthday party for Matt's niece and then we had dinner and received a great recommendation for a bar by Matt's cousin. We went to a place called Sing Sing and it was so much fun!! It is like a piano bar but a little more roughty. There are 2 pianos and then they also have a keyboard, guitar and drums. What you do is you request a song and no matter what genre or artist they should be able to play it, and they did. It was great and so much fun, but even more fun if you are a people watcher like myself. Although Jason and I payed for a bucket (literally) of long island we were no where near the level of drunkeness that others were. At one point they were playing "Baby got Back" and there was a woman that was on the stage dancing with all these girls that were mainly from a bacherlorette party. Now first I must say that I was impressed at how comfortable she was with herself to get up and dance, but then again she had been drinking directly from the wine bottle at their table. :) At one point this woman turned around to face the crowd and lifted her shirt...bra included. I could not believe it. It was ridiculous! I was suprised she didn't get kicked out! Anyway, besides that it was an amazing time, the bar just had that great energy and I would've stayed their all night!
I am very excited to find out that Jason will be visiting again for his fourth visit in a few short months, but this time he is bringing some of our other mutual friends...actually I think we all swayed him into coming with them ;) Ashlee and Joel will be out here in June and Jason too and I think this time we might actually make it to the mountains, hopefully Silverthorne for sure for some outlet mall shopping. In silverthorne there are more than 165 stores in that outlet mall, all of them outdoor and I am hoping that Matt can take off as well. I cannot wait.
Next, I mean this by no offense to anyone, but I am once again amazed at how much I have learned since moving out here, mainly about friends. Jason has been the greatest friend, he has kept in contact with me the whole two years I have been out here, he says hi at least once every 2 weeks, and he has been out here 3 times!! Both of us have discussed how my move has actually brought us closer, out of everyone that I thought would come and visit and keep in contact I never would have put Jason at the top, but I am so glad that he is. He has been an amazing friend, and now Ashlee and Joel are coming as well and as much as I love them, it is still a little suprising that they are making it out here before others but I couldn't be more thrilled. This truly shows me who has always been my true friends. I know not everyone has money to fly out here, but I must also remember that everyone does seem to have the money to go out on weekends and make trips to other places too. In fact Ashlee, Jason and Joel found tickets for about $200 round trip for like 4 days!! It is amazing, and Ashlee and Joel have even kept touch with me, whether be a random text or message every now and again, it is more than most people have even attempted. Thank you guys for being such amazing people and friends!!! I can't wait to see them in June!!!

Home Appliances...

So this year I have bought more items for a houselhold than ever before...I remember when I was a little younger and talking to an older friend of mine, she said "You know you are getting old when you look forward to buying stuff for your house than buying stuff for yourself." I truly know the meaning to that now. After Matt and I moved into our new place, we really wanted to make it our own, and make it our home. We love it here and we want others to see how much we love it. So we bought a 32" flat screen TV to place above the fireplace, a coffee table with 2 end tables and we bought a dining room set also. This is the first dining room table that I have ever had! I love it. Our apartment really does feel like home to us.

We have washer and dryer hookups in our apartment and were renting from a place called Azuma (which I do not recommend ever using). The washer would stain our clothes orange even though our detergent wasn't orange and occasionally after a wash it would went up leaving an orange water ring at the bottom of the clothing spinner. It was just horrible. So we found a fabulous deal on a washer and dryer that are less than a year old, just bought in November! We had to do it, it would save us so much hassle and money in the end that it was worth it. Well, due to Matt's new shift he was gone most of the day and so I took it upon myself to move the old washer and dryer out from the laundry room (Azuma has not picked it up yet) and placed the new ones in their new spot! I was so proud of myself, I even managed to hook up the washer to all the right cables and it actually runs with no trouble!!! I hooked up most of the dryer but the problem is that our plug-in on the wall is too big for the plug the dryer has, so we have to go and buy a new cord or new wall plate :( But either way I installed it all by myself, I'd say I did a pretty good job!

Estes Park

Well...after about a year or more of bugging Matt to take me to Estes Park he finally gave in. I have heard his mother and plenty others just rant and rave about this place and how beautiful it is. It is in the mountains, about an hour and a half drive. I wish I would have taken pictures of the drive because it was gorgeous! I really need to get myself outside and in nature more often, I love it and I forget how much I really do enjoy being outside (as long as I am not camping in a tent outside...that is a whole other story). I just wanted to share some of the pictures of the beautiful view at Estes Park. It really is just this cute little town surrounded by mountains, water and little shops. The little shops were the best, I am glad that I didn't have a lot of money to spend and was being frugal that day because I loved going in those shops. Some of them had gorgeous items that were well over priced but some had very reasonable prices. There was also a little shop that made jams and chili sauces that I fell in love with. If it wasn't for the fact that one jar of jelly was $7.95 I probably would have bought 3 of them. I even was able to try a jam that was called "Raspberry Jalapeno" and it was actually really good, with a little cream cheese it was down right amazing. I debated buying it for almost 10 min, but decided I do not eat enough jam to buy something that small. I managed to be very good with my money and Matt and I only walked away from all the little shops with a $10 box of scent candle things that you can use as potpourri or you can melt them, it was a great deal for amazing scents.

The other thing about Estes Park that most people love to go there for is the main hotel there. It is the Stanley Hotel, the famous hotel where The Shining was filmed. I get caught up with semantics of the two different shinings but one of them was filmed there. I of course took a picture of the hotel but we decided not to go inside, maybe another time....