Okay, so the last time I was at the dentist was 3 years ago!! It was before I moved to Colorado. The years have been tough and benefits haven't always been there. Needless to say I have known for a long time that I need a dentist appointment, for the last 6 months I have had benefits to support that need and continued to put it off. I have been petrified to go to the dentist because it has been so long. I was sure I would have at least 6 cavities and that my cleaning would kill me!
To my suprise, after the x-rays...the dentist came in and went over all of my teeth and informed me that the only thing I need done is a crown on the tooth that had a root canal performed on it! What?! I couldn't believe it! I had to ask twice to be sure I didn't have cavaties! My teeth don't hurt or anything I just figured that with that lapse of time I was bound to have a few.
Then there was a cancellation the next day for a cleaning so I took it. My appointment began at 4pm. I asked how long it normally takes so I could prepare myself...she told me that it all depends on the amount of build up but they normally give an hour. As she began the cleaning, she kept telling me there wasn't much build up at all...my appointment was over and I was out the door at 4:18! I am so proud of myself! I can't help but gloat!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Birthday
My birthday was this last Monday, the 20th. Matt and I celebrated my birthday during the weekend since we thought that he was going to be working on the day of. We spent most of the day Saturday wandering around Northfield Shopping Center, which was exausting but fun. We ended up having to eat Qdoba...ugh! I do not recommend it. I will stand by Chipotle till the end of time! Qdoba's chicken tasted like rubber chicken horribly cooked at a BBQ. It was disgusting. Anyway, on Sunday we relaxed and went to dinner at Red Lobster. Although Matt hates seafood and their choice for steak are not that inviting, he goes for me every year on my birthday.
On Monday I went to work and tried to pass it off that it wasn't my birthday - - I didn't even put it on our calendar; however, I failed to remember that Lara's brother's birthday was the same day so she remembered and everyone pitched in for an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. It was so sweet of them, I really didn't need anything at all. Matt ended up being home the night of my birthday so we walked around the Cherry Creek Mall and admired things we couldn't have :) and then went and ate at Las Delicias which is a mexican restaurant.
Oddly enough I found this birthday very difficult. For a lot of reasons. It was like crossing over a hump, I know that I am still young and everything but it was still difficult to cross over to the other side of 25. How stupid is that? I feel as though I am not where I should be at in my life, although, the question really should be, who decided where I should be at this point in my life. I just notice others my age who are married, having children, buying a house, settling in at their job, etc and I don't have any of that. I am not saying that I am ready for all of that yet, but I am afraid that is where my concern lies. I worry that I am on the wrong track or path and am not going to be ready until I may be too old. I know it all sounds stupid but I can't help but think it. It was also hard not having many close friends near by to celebrate. I also found it hard when the people I considered friends only wished me Happy Birthday on Facebook. I know that sounds stupid too. I just thought that my "best friend" would at least consider a text or quick phone call, but I guess not. However, I still enjoyed all of the birthday wishes online, it made me feel appreciated and cared about. Of course I still had other text messages as well for my Birthday which I was so happy to get and couldn't believe those people cared enough about me to send me a text. As a side note, I am not mad at anyone who didn't text me...except the one person who I thought was my best friend and I am finding out they are not. I just wanted to throw that out there ;)
So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I think now is a good time to go through things that I have experienced in my life...good and bad that make me the person I am today. I have come a long way and have fought with everything I have to achieve what I have and be where I am. Life is not always easier...in fact I think it gets harder, but that's okay. I have come a long way from who I used to be. I know that when things seem hard, everything will still be okay in the end. I just have to look at what I have and who I have by my side and know that I am going to be okay. I also have learned to believe in Karma, if you never see the good side, never believe in yourself, or do bad things...it will come back to bite you in the ass. BUT if you can TRY to find the good side of things or realize that you are going to be okay no matter what, and do something nice every now and then, Karma will help you in the end.
I have also come a long with my schooling, I am almost done! It is so hard to believe. I have this next weekend, 2 more classes (4 weekends) and then I am done; except my internship. It is just crazy to believe that I will be done with the class portion of my education and know that in a year or so I could be a therapist! Crazy!
I think one of the most important things I have ever done was move. I moved from La Crosse when no one thought I would, I moved across states-1000 miles away, I also have been gone for 2 1/2 years with no plan of moving back (or visiting) when everyone thought I wouldn't last a year. Moving was the best decision I have ever made. It improved my independance, made me appreciate things I didn't before, given me opportunities that I don't think I could have had in La Crosse and it has shown me who my true friends are and who I can trust. I have also found an amazing boyfriend whom I love and can see a future with, and with him came an amazing family that has accepted and supported us and me from the beginning.
Lastly, I cannot forget what other memories my birthday holds. On July 20th, 2001 4 people passed away; 2 of them were friends who I had known for years. I hold memories with both and every year I remember that tragic day when 4 young peoples lives ended. Although it has been 8 years it is still hard, and although I may not have been as close as others were with them, I still hold memories and sometimes I still feel guilty for wanting to celebrate. That year we lost so many people...those losses brought people together, tore them apart and taught us all lessons; lessons, reminders and memories that I take with me everyday. Julia, Tyra, Steve and Cory you will never be forgotten, in our hearts you will always remain.
On Monday I went to work and tried to pass it off that it wasn't my birthday - - I didn't even put it on our calendar; however, I failed to remember that Lara's brother's birthday was the same day so she remembered and everyone pitched in for an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. It was so sweet of them, I really didn't need anything at all. Matt ended up being home the night of my birthday so we walked around the Cherry Creek Mall and admired things we couldn't have :) and then went and ate at Las Delicias which is a mexican restaurant.
Oddly enough I found this birthday very difficult. For a lot of reasons. It was like crossing over a hump, I know that I am still young and everything but it was still difficult to cross over to the other side of 25. How stupid is that? I feel as though I am not where I should be at in my life, although, the question really should be, who decided where I should be at this point in my life. I just notice others my age who are married, having children, buying a house, settling in at their job, etc and I don't have any of that. I am not saying that I am ready for all of that yet, but I am afraid that is where my concern lies. I worry that I am on the wrong track or path and am not going to be ready until I may be too old. I know it all sounds stupid but I can't help but think it. It was also hard not having many close friends near by to celebrate. I also found it hard when the people I considered friends only wished me Happy Birthday on Facebook. I know that sounds stupid too. I just thought that my "best friend" would at least consider a text or quick phone call, but I guess not. However, I still enjoyed all of the birthday wishes online, it made me feel appreciated and cared about. Of course I still had other text messages as well for my Birthday which I was so happy to get and couldn't believe those people cared enough about me to send me a text. As a side note, I am not mad at anyone who didn't text me...except the one person who I thought was my best friend and I am finding out they are not. I just wanted to throw that out there ;)
So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I think now is a good time to go through things that I have experienced in my life...good and bad that make me the person I am today. I have come a long way and have fought with everything I have to achieve what I have and be where I am. Life is not always easier...in fact I think it gets harder, but that's okay. I have come a long way from who I used to be. I know that when things seem hard, everything will still be okay in the end. I just have to look at what I have and who I have by my side and know that I am going to be okay. I also have learned to believe in Karma, if you never see the good side, never believe in yourself, or do bad things...it will come back to bite you in the ass. BUT if you can TRY to find the good side of things or realize that you are going to be okay no matter what, and do something nice every now and then, Karma will help you in the end.
I have also come a long with my schooling, I am almost done! It is so hard to believe. I have this next weekend, 2 more classes (4 weekends) and then I am done; except my internship. It is just crazy to believe that I will be done with the class portion of my education and know that in a year or so I could be a therapist! Crazy!
I think one of the most important things I have ever done was move. I moved from La Crosse when no one thought I would, I moved across states-1000 miles away, I also have been gone for 2 1/2 years with no plan of moving back (or visiting) when everyone thought I wouldn't last a year. Moving was the best decision I have ever made. It improved my independance, made me appreciate things I didn't before, given me opportunities that I don't think I could have had in La Crosse and it has shown me who my true friends are and who I can trust. I have also found an amazing boyfriend whom I love and can see a future with, and with him came an amazing family that has accepted and supported us and me from the beginning.
Lastly, I cannot forget what other memories my birthday holds. On July 20th, 2001 4 people passed away; 2 of them were friends who I had known for years. I hold memories with both and every year I remember that tragic day when 4 young peoples lives ended. Although it has been 8 years it is still hard, and although I may not have been as close as others were with them, I still hold memories and sometimes I still feel guilty for wanting to celebrate. That year we lost so many people...those losses brought people together, tore them apart and taught us all lessons; lessons, reminders and memories that I take with me everyday. Julia, Tyra, Steve and Cory you will never be forgotten, in our hearts you will always remain.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Yes! Drugs!
After arriving home to an anxiety driven dog with a bleeding tail I took him to the vet. $142 later and we left with a bandaged tail and some doggy prozac. I know that drugs are not the answer but they will help him. The drugs will be able to help calm his anxiety while we also retrain his behavioral issues. We will still have to work hard, but hopefully things will be a little easier.
They bandaged his tail and it appears as though he is leaving it alone, so hopefully it will heal so we don't have to amputate...that would be so sad. His tail is a HUGE part of his personality and I love it, despite how much it hurts when it wacks you, especially when you are a boy, just ask Matt. :)
In an earlier blog I mentioned a pheramone plug in called D.A.P. well at the vet today I was informed that they have a collar option. This way the pheramone is always with him wherever he goes. It reacts to heat so when he becomes anxious it will release the pheramone and help to soothe him. The vet has actually heard of a higher success with the collar than with the plugin...so I have to wait until they order them, which will be Monday, but I am willing to try it.
I am however regretting spending the money on BarkBusters training, all though it has helped a little with small things, I don't think she is very helpful with big things. All she talks about for his anxiety is how we shouldn't live an apartment and that we should get out of our lease and get a house...some things are just not that easy lady! We are still going to work with her especially with leash and off leash training and working around distractions. I am still going to listen to advice for retraining his separation anxiety behavior but I am still a little frustrated.
I will keep updating on how Apollo is doing and how his drugs are working. Thanks to those who have been so supportive.
They bandaged his tail and it appears as though he is leaving it alone, so hopefully it will heal so we don't have to amputate...that would be so sad. His tail is a HUGE part of his personality and I love it, despite how much it hurts when it wacks you, especially when you are a boy, just ask Matt. :)
In an earlier blog I mentioned a pheramone plug in called D.A.P. well at the vet today I was informed that they have a collar option. This way the pheramone is always with him wherever he goes. It reacts to heat so when he becomes anxious it will release the pheramone and help to soothe him. The vet has actually heard of a higher success with the collar than with the plugin...so I have to wait until they order them, which will be Monday, but I am willing to try it.
I am however regretting spending the money on BarkBusters training, all though it has helped a little with small things, I don't think she is very helpful with big things. All she talks about for his anxiety is how we shouldn't live an apartment and that we should get out of our lease and get a house...some things are just not that easy lady! We are still going to work with her especially with leash and off leash training and working around distractions. I am still going to listen to advice for retraining his separation anxiety behavior but I am still a little frustrated.
I will keep updating on how Apollo is doing and how his drugs are working. Thanks to those who have been so supportive.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Busted out!!
Well, today was the first day with the new kennel...
Yep, he busted out. I swear, I have a dog with mutant genes or something .Nothing works with this dog. This weekend I am going to buy a plug in thing at Pet Smart that is to release a pheramone that is to calm his anxiety but I fear it will not work. I also will try to get to the vet this weekend to get him some serious drugs. This is getting ridiculous and frustrating. This dog has crazy strength. He actually pulled the kennel door in to the kennel...with what appears to be his teeth. None of the bars are busted and his paws don't fit through the small openings, so his mouth is the only thing that I can gather that could have achieved this type of escape.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???!!! I don't know how much longer this can go on.
Yep, he busted out. I swear, I have a dog with mutant genes or something .Nothing works with this dog. This weekend I am going to buy a plug in thing at Pet Smart that is to release a pheramone that is to calm his anxiety but I fear it will not work. I also will try to get to the vet this weekend to get him some serious drugs. This is getting ridiculous and frustrating. This dog has crazy strength. He actually pulled the kennel door in to the kennel...with what appears to be his teeth. None of the bars are busted and his paws don't fit through the small openings, so his mouth is the only thing that I can gather that could have achieved this type of escape.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???!!! I don't know how much longer this can go on.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Alone
I know that I am not alone in the physical sense. I have an amazing boyfriend whom I love to no end and who loves me more than anyone ever has...I also have family both his and mine and I have co-workers and friends. However, because of my guarded personality I don't have close friends. I don't have friends that I just call up and chat with...or like now, when I am down and needing to talk I have no where to go, so I turn to a blog in hopes that it will relieve some pain and pressure. It's not that people won't be there to listen, I know they will, the problem is I don't know who I could call and I don't want to be a burden. For some reason I feel it is unfair for me to discuss what is going on with me to someone...I should be there for them and what they are going through, not the other way around. I love being the person that people come to for advice or just to have me listen, that's who I am. However, I feel I have no one to go to when I need a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on. I've lost the people who I thought I could trust for that, and now I don't know who to trust. I hate being guarded but I don't know what else to do. I just want someone to allow me to cry, talk and be me and try to understand.
Stressed, confused...
I am struggling to find an outlet for all the things I need to say and all the things that I feel. Even on here I feel as though I can't fully release everything that I want to but yet, I feel I need to say something before I explode with overwhelming emotions.
I have not been able to see my therapist in over a month and I can't believe how much I need that time. That time is a great outlet for me to discuss whatever I am feeling and not be judged on what I have to say. Sometimes I wonder how I made it this far without having that person on my side.
I find myself being confused and hurt by so many things in life, but at the same time I am happy about where I am in life. I have come a long way and have learned a lot of things and I would never change any of that, however, I struggle to find a balance and worse, I struggle to find friendship and trust.
Many of my previous blogs have been about the loss of friendship. I know that in life we sometimes have to say goodbye to people and lose friends that we never thought we'd lose, but I still can't accept it. In Wisconsin there were so many people I thought were my close friends, best friends, but then almost three years later I find out that I was wrong. How could that be? It is so confusing. I dropped everything to be there for people, I have amazing memories to last a lifetime and yet it seems like none of that matters. I look at my life now and my circle of friends...and my circle from Wisconsin has diminished significantly. The people who I thought would always be there are no longer there. I don't know about the exciting changes in their life unless I look at Facebook statuses and it appears that they don't care about my changes in life or what I am doing because I never see a comment on my status or my page just even saying hi. I also find it so amazing that when I use Facebook for an outlet for my emotions or anger, the people that respond or comment are the people I never would have thought would, and the people who I thought would always respond, don't even seem to care.
I'm trying to learn to say goodbye and move on and realize this is a part of life, but it hurts to know that when I think about visiting La Crosse, the thought makes me sick to my stomach because I don't even want to go back...ever. I would prefer my family to come to me so I never have to return. How sad is that? How do I even deal with that? Some of my "friends" from La Crosse I am okay with just staying social friends, if you will, where I talk to them occasionally and if I go back I will see them at the bar or plan a dinner or whatever...but there is one person who I have drifted so far apart from that I just can't even stand it. It's not that my other friends are less important, it's just that this one person was so important to me...and when I left it felt the same, but now that time has moved on it seems I am no longer important, despite the effort I make in trying to stay in contact with them. I know this is something I have to go through and experience, but I have such a hard time with it. When I try and confront anyone with how we have lost touch...the comments are dealing with being busy, working, etc. I don't accept these excuses. We have Facebook, cell phones, text messaging, emails...no matter what you are doing in a day there should be time once every couple months to find time to text or write on a Facebook wall...even if it is just a hello. I see other Facebook posts all the time... is it my distance that makes me able to be forgotten about? Is it because I defied all odds and never moved back like everyone betted on? No one believed I would move, no one believed I would stay...well I did and although I am hurting from losing people in my life...I still couldn't be happier with my decision. I took a chance that many aren't willing to take, especially from La Crosse, and I made it real and although times have been hard I have never looked back.
I don't mean to ramble on I just can't believe how little I mean to someone...someone who I thought was a best friend, someone who I thought would always be there for me. I went through some of my toughest times this year and they weren't there...it appeared they didn't even care. I am going to try and move on, but I can't promise this will be the last blog I have about losing friends because I can't process what is happening. Unfortunately, I need to say goodbye and they will never know...would they even care?
I have not been able to see my therapist in over a month and I can't believe how much I need that time. That time is a great outlet for me to discuss whatever I am feeling and not be judged on what I have to say. Sometimes I wonder how I made it this far without having that person on my side.
I find myself being confused and hurt by so many things in life, but at the same time I am happy about where I am in life. I have come a long way and have learned a lot of things and I would never change any of that, however, I struggle to find a balance and worse, I struggle to find friendship and trust.
Many of my previous blogs have been about the loss of friendship. I know that in life we sometimes have to say goodbye to people and lose friends that we never thought we'd lose, but I still can't accept it. In Wisconsin there were so many people I thought were my close friends, best friends, but then almost three years later I find out that I was wrong. How could that be? It is so confusing. I dropped everything to be there for people, I have amazing memories to last a lifetime and yet it seems like none of that matters. I look at my life now and my circle of friends...and my circle from Wisconsin has diminished significantly. The people who I thought would always be there are no longer there. I don't know about the exciting changes in their life unless I look at Facebook statuses and it appears that they don't care about my changes in life or what I am doing because I never see a comment on my status or my page just even saying hi. I also find it so amazing that when I use Facebook for an outlet for my emotions or anger, the people that respond or comment are the people I never would have thought would, and the people who I thought would always respond, don't even seem to care.
I'm trying to learn to say goodbye and move on and realize this is a part of life, but it hurts to know that when I think about visiting La Crosse, the thought makes me sick to my stomach because I don't even want to go back...ever. I would prefer my family to come to me so I never have to return. How sad is that? How do I even deal with that? Some of my "friends" from La Crosse I am okay with just staying social friends, if you will, where I talk to them occasionally and if I go back I will see them at the bar or plan a dinner or whatever...but there is one person who I have drifted so far apart from that I just can't even stand it. It's not that my other friends are less important, it's just that this one person was so important to me...and when I left it felt the same, but now that time has moved on it seems I am no longer important, despite the effort I make in trying to stay in contact with them. I know this is something I have to go through and experience, but I have such a hard time with it. When I try and confront anyone with how we have lost touch...the comments are dealing with being busy, working, etc. I don't accept these excuses. We have Facebook, cell phones, text messaging, emails...no matter what you are doing in a day there should be time once every couple months to find time to text or write on a Facebook wall...even if it is just a hello. I see other Facebook posts all the time... is it my distance that makes me able to be forgotten about? Is it because I defied all odds and never moved back like everyone betted on? No one believed I would move, no one believed I would stay...well I did and although I am hurting from losing people in my life...I still couldn't be happier with my decision. I took a chance that many aren't willing to take, especially from La Crosse, and I made it real and although times have been hard I have never looked back.
I don't mean to ramble on I just can't believe how little I mean to someone...someone who I thought was a best friend, someone who I thought would always be there for me. I went through some of my toughest times this year and they weren't there...it appeared they didn't even care. I am going to try and move on, but I can't promise this will be the last blog I have about losing friends because I can't process what is happening. Unfortunately, I need to say goodbye and they will never know...would they even care?
Exercsing
Well, I have really been working at trying to find exercise that keeps me wanting to do it. I love going to the gym and being on the elliptical but unfortunately I have to leave Apollo alone and suffer with the anxiety factor, which makes me not want to go to the gym. However, Apollo needs a ton of exercise and although he goes to the dog park 2-3 times a week, sometimes that is not enough for this large crazy dog of ours. I have decided to try taking up running again, with Apollo. I discovered on mapmyfitness.com that my apartment complex is approx. 1 mile around, so I have slowly began running again.
I began last week and went on both Monday and Tuesday but by Wednesday my body was in pain, good pain, but I was sore and exausted. I took a break and then had class and have been insanely tired the beginning of this week but am going to get back in the swing of things tomorrow, whether I like it or not. This is what I want to do and I enjoy running. It keeps me energized and although I am tired and in pain, I feel good about myself and what I am doing.
I can't run the whole thing without stopping but I do measure how far I can run before I need to walk and how long I need to walk for. Apollo's excitement level has come in handy for once with keeping me inspired to continue running. Since there are so many dogs surrounding us they are always on walks and he always wants to lunge and greet them, but if we are running he isn't as occupied by them...therefore I must keep running or start when I see a dog coming.
Inspired by Dance your Ass off!! I am also considering starting dancing aerobics on Comcast On Demand...why not, anything that will help shed some weight and get me in better shape while being fun is well worth it. However I do kind of feel like an idiot dancing in my living room and worrying if people can see me, even though I know they can't.
Also, I think I have made the decision to run in the AIDS Run for Colorado on August 15th. I know that it is only a 5K (3.2 miles) but I think it would be for an amazing cause and a great accomplishment. I have been thinking about it for a couple days now and I really think that I want to give it a try. I don't have to run the whole thing but darnit I have a month to warm myself up and you better believe that I am going to try!
I began last week and went on both Monday and Tuesday but by Wednesday my body was in pain, good pain, but I was sore and exausted. I took a break and then had class and have been insanely tired the beginning of this week but am going to get back in the swing of things tomorrow, whether I like it or not. This is what I want to do and I enjoy running. It keeps me energized and although I am tired and in pain, I feel good about myself and what I am doing.
I can't run the whole thing without stopping but I do measure how far I can run before I need to walk and how long I need to walk for. Apollo's excitement level has come in handy for once with keeping me inspired to continue running. Since there are so many dogs surrounding us they are always on walks and he always wants to lunge and greet them, but if we are running he isn't as occupied by them...therefore I must keep running or start when I see a dog coming.
Inspired by Dance your Ass off!! I am also considering starting dancing aerobics on Comcast On Demand...why not, anything that will help shed some weight and get me in better shape while being fun is well worth it. However I do kind of feel like an idiot dancing in my living room and worrying if people can see me, even though I know they can't.
Also, I think I have made the decision to run in the AIDS Run for Colorado on August 15th. I know that it is only a 5K (3.2 miles) but I think it would be for an amazing cause and a great accomplishment. I have been thinking about it for a couple days now and I really think that I want to give it a try. I don't have to run the whole thing but darnit I have a month to warm myself up and you better believe that I am going to try!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Dance your ass off!!!
After watching re-runs of America's Next Top Model (don't start with me...I can't help it, I love that show), the re-run of Dance Your Ass Off! came on and so I decided to watch it. I found myself being overwhelmed with emotions as these people told their stories and discovered what their true weights were. These contestants were amazing!!! They can move! Some of the contestants lost over 10lbs in 1 week!! How amazing and great is that for them?! Sorry for all the exclamation points, I just found myself so emotional and so excited for these contestants. Some of the contestants face diabetes, obesity and life changes that have caused them to gain weight and it is amazing what great spirits and excitement they have. I mean they were all just so happy and were proud to be out there and shaking their asses off!! It was just great to me and I loved how the wardrobe didn't try to cover them...they made real dance outfits for them and these contestants went out there and rocked it! It was just great to watch and see these individuals out there having a great time and being excited and happy about who they are.
On the other hand, I found myself so disappointed to know that someone had to go home in the end. I mean, barely a week into it and the girl who was a model and gained 65lbs in 2 years had to go home. I felt so bad for her. A lot of these contestants feel that this really is their last shot at losing their weight to live healthy, long lives and this girl barely got the chance to prove what she could do. I don't really know how else to explain myself, I was just so saddened for her and disappointed that the show didn't do more. I don't know what I expected them to do, I mean it is a competition and someone has to go home, but I just wish they would have kept her in contact with a nutritionist, therapist or even a trainer to help her continue to lose the weight and feel better about herself. That could of course be something that was done behind the scenes, but I just felt at a loss that this girl went home after one week and this is a serious show about these individuals wanting to lose weight to live and be healthy.
The show was interesting for me to watch because of the field I am in. I have chosen to not specialize in eating disorders as a therapist in the future. I will never turn a client down but I know that there are better qualified therapists out there for them. However, I really wanted to work with this clientele as well, especially after watching the contestants talk about their lives and their families. What heartache and hardships they must have gone through. I don't know, I just sat there wishing I could do something for other people out there facing any eating disorder. Other people don't always understand the hardships individuals go through who are overweight...there are stereotypes and I am beginning to notice that people just focus on the stereotype and not the person. As I get older I find myself realizing more and more about life and people. It is all so interesting. Also, as a side note, I am not forgetting about individuals who suffer with bulimia/anorexia, binge-eating, emotional eating, crash diets, all of the eating disorders and eating problems people face everyday; this show was focused on those who are overweight for many different reasons. I also think that people who are overweight may suffer from more stereotypes and other stigmas than other people...that is why there is a show like this. It helps them to feel better about themselves but also to become better and healthier.
However, I still think the show was great and the idea behind it is great too. These people involved are just so committed and focused and have amazing stories. I was proud of them for going out there on national TV and shaking their "asses off." I am now officially addicted to that show as well. Oh boy, someone help me. I watch one episode of something and I am addicted and have to find out what happens next ;)
On the other hand, I found myself so disappointed to know that someone had to go home in the end. I mean, barely a week into it and the girl who was a model and gained 65lbs in 2 years had to go home. I felt so bad for her. A lot of these contestants feel that this really is their last shot at losing their weight to live healthy, long lives and this girl barely got the chance to prove what she could do. I don't really know how else to explain myself, I was just so saddened for her and disappointed that the show didn't do more. I don't know what I expected them to do, I mean it is a competition and someone has to go home, but I just wish they would have kept her in contact with a nutritionist, therapist or even a trainer to help her continue to lose the weight and feel better about herself. That could of course be something that was done behind the scenes, but I just felt at a loss that this girl went home after one week and this is a serious show about these individuals wanting to lose weight to live and be healthy.
The show was interesting for me to watch because of the field I am in. I have chosen to not specialize in eating disorders as a therapist in the future. I will never turn a client down but I know that there are better qualified therapists out there for them. However, I really wanted to work with this clientele as well, especially after watching the contestants talk about their lives and their families. What heartache and hardships they must have gone through. I don't know, I just sat there wishing I could do something for other people out there facing any eating disorder. Other people don't always understand the hardships individuals go through who are overweight...there are stereotypes and I am beginning to notice that people just focus on the stereotype and not the person. As I get older I find myself realizing more and more about life and people. It is all so interesting. Also, as a side note, I am not forgetting about individuals who suffer with bulimia/anorexia, binge-eating, emotional eating, crash diets, all of the eating disorders and eating problems people face everyday; this show was focused on those who are overweight for many different reasons. I also think that people who are overweight may suffer from more stereotypes and other stigmas than other people...that is why there is a show like this. It helps them to feel better about themselves but also to become better and healthier.
However, I still think the show was great and the idea behind it is great too. These people involved are just so committed and focused and have amazing stories. I was proud of them for going out there on national TV and shaking their "asses off." I am now officially addicted to that show as well. Oh boy, someone help me. I watch one episode of something and I am addicted and have to find out what happens next ;)
Happy 4th!!!!
Matt was able to get the fourth off, even though they didn't tell him until the day before! So that was great, I was starting to get worried it would just be me and Apollo hanging out watching fire works from the balcony.
Our day began dropping Apollo off at the in-laws. We decided that would be best because normally when we go to Aunt Josies we are there late into the night and it would be best if he was not alone. So we dropped Apollo off, grabbed some beer and headed to Josies. I chose not to bring a swimsuit for many reasons, one I don't have one and was not about to buy one, two - there is so much pressure when it comes to wearing a suit to Josie's (dang water volleyball). :) So shortly after arriving Matt changed into his suit and the water festivities began. However before this I got to watch Matt's nephews explore the world of floaties!!! They were adorable! Amilio has no fear and he jumps right in the pool from the edge and sticks his face under the water like a champ! Sonny was more of a fan being thrown into the air and caught while his nemo trunks fell off and his little bottom was exposed. I just love watching those kids, especially since they are twins, they are so different from one another but they are both amazing kids. I love them. Vanessa had an adorable little fairy suit on that had a little skirt think sewn in and she looked so cute. She is very fearful however...she had floaties and a little swimming tube to stay a float, but it didn't matter to her she was amazing in the pool "Amber look at me, I'm swimming in the pool!!" It was adorable.
While at Josies Matt received a text from his friend Danny asking us if we wanted to come over to their house...so we decided around 7 we would leave and head to Danny and Samantha's house. Which, as much as I love Matt's family, I was kind of excited about because otherwise Matt would have kept drinking and losing money to his family long into the night while I sat camped out on the couch reading a book. Yes I could choose to partake in the poker but I also choose not too :)
So we left about 7 and headed to Matt's parents to grab Apollo. Danny and Samantha have a great dane and they live close to us so it was best to get Apollo. Now keep in mind that we dropped Apollo off around 1pm at Matt's parents so it has been about 6 hours that he has been at their place...with 2 other dog companions in a fenced backyard. We pull up and Matt rounds up Apollo...and his fat lip! Yes, once again Apollo has managed to harm himself at the in-laws. We have no idea what happened, it doesn't appear to be cut or bleeding or open in any way, he just has a fat lip. What will we ever do with this dog? Being that this is not the first time this has happened, I have made the decision that this last time really was the last. No matter how calm he becomes or what happens, he cannot go there again without supervision because he is too tempted to injure himself one way or another.
Anyway, we packed him and busted lip in the car and headed over to Danny and Samantha's where we spent the rest of our evening. Although it was uneventful, besides the 2 random times that Apollo found his way out of their backyard and the meeting of the ferret and Apollo, we really had a great time. It was nice to just sit around, chat, drink and have some amazing salsa that I have officially fallen in love with (mango peach).
Well, that is how we spent our fourth, we didn't even watch any fireworks...but yet it was fun. I hope everyone else had a great fourth!
Our day began dropping Apollo off at the in-laws. We decided that would be best because normally when we go to Aunt Josies we are there late into the night and it would be best if he was not alone. So we dropped Apollo off, grabbed some beer and headed to Josies. I chose not to bring a swimsuit for many reasons, one I don't have one and was not about to buy one, two - there is so much pressure when it comes to wearing a suit to Josie's (dang water volleyball). :) So shortly after arriving Matt changed into his suit and the water festivities began. However before this I got to watch Matt's nephews explore the world of floaties!!! They were adorable! Amilio has no fear and he jumps right in the pool from the edge and sticks his face under the water like a champ! Sonny was more of a fan being thrown into the air and caught while his nemo trunks fell off and his little bottom was exposed. I just love watching those kids, especially since they are twins, they are so different from one another but they are both amazing kids. I love them. Vanessa had an adorable little fairy suit on that had a little skirt think sewn in and she looked so cute. She is very fearful however...she had floaties and a little swimming tube to stay a float, but it didn't matter to her she was amazing in the pool "Amber look at me, I'm swimming in the pool!!" It was adorable.
While at Josies Matt received a text from his friend Danny asking us if we wanted to come over to their house...so we decided around 7 we would leave and head to Danny and Samantha's house. Which, as much as I love Matt's family, I was kind of excited about because otherwise Matt would have kept drinking and losing money to his family long into the night while I sat camped out on the couch reading a book. Yes I could choose to partake in the poker but I also choose not too :)
So we left about 7 and headed to Matt's parents to grab Apollo. Danny and Samantha have a great dane and they live close to us so it was best to get Apollo. Now keep in mind that we dropped Apollo off around 1pm at Matt's parents so it has been about 6 hours that he has been at their place...with 2 other dog companions in a fenced backyard. We pull up and Matt rounds up Apollo...and his fat lip! Yes, once again Apollo has managed to harm himself at the in-laws. We have no idea what happened, it doesn't appear to be cut or bleeding or open in any way, he just has a fat lip. What will we ever do with this dog? Being that this is not the first time this has happened, I have made the decision that this last time really was the last. No matter how calm he becomes or what happens, he cannot go there again without supervision because he is too tempted to injure himself one way or another.
Anyway, we packed him and busted lip in the car and headed over to Danny and Samantha's where we spent the rest of our evening. Although it was uneventful, besides the 2 random times that Apollo found his way out of their backyard and the meeting of the ferret and Apollo, we really had a great time. It was nice to just sit around, chat, drink and have some amazing salsa that I have officially fallen in love with (mango peach).
Well, that is how we spent our fourth, we didn't even watch any fireworks...but yet it was fun. I hope everyone else had a great fourth!
Hawaii
Although the title sounds exciting the blog itself is not. I have been thinking for over 2 years on when I can make it back to Hawaii to see my Dad, meet his wife and enjoy a vacation with such beautiful scenery with Matt and have them meet. My Dad of course asks me every phone call when I can come, which is great, I love that he wants to see me so much. However, under the pressure I cracked and said we could make it in August without really thinking about how life actually works. If we had money, August would be the only reasonable time because my life goes hectic after September 10th...however we don't have the money or the time or the stress-free set of mind. Unfortunately, after further consideration and really looking at life's turn of events we decided it could not be done. I had to call him and break the bad news. I hope he knows how much it hurt me to tell him I can't make it and that a trip will have to wait until next year when I graduate. I feel that will be a much better time to go because we could go for two weeks (we have a yearish to plan and save) and we could really spend quality time there without worrying about our dog, money, bills, PTO, etc. We did not want to feel rush, pressured or worried being that we had less than 2 months to plan and save and figure out what to do with Apollo.
Having a dog really is like having a child, especially when that dog has special "needs." It would cost money to kennel him, if we paid a sitter they could never leave unless they were prepared to handle a hyperactive dog trying to maul them when they got home from over excitement, and the "in-laws" are no longer an option because he is not safe in their backyard. He knows there is no boundaries and he doesn't always learn from first, second, or third mistakes so he is injured everytime he is there (the most recent will be in another blog).
We have so much going on and I am dealing with so many things personally that I just think now is not the time. I have to consider my life as it is and where it stands financially and Hawaii just can't be an option right now. I am heartbroken but what can I do? Even though he offered to pay it is not feasible...either way money would still be spent, PTO would still be used or not used and stress will continue to be a factor. I had to be wise and careful in my decision, it is just unfortunate.
However, I look forward to planning and saving for an amazing trip in June. I will be graduating, it will be summer and we can relax! We can do so much more then, maybe even visit another island, I still have yet to do that. It will come, I just have to be patient and wise with financial decisions.
Having a dog really is like having a child, especially when that dog has special "needs." It would cost money to kennel him, if we paid a sitter they could never leave unless they were prepared to handle a hyperactive dog trying to maul them when they got home from over excitement, and the "in-laws" are no longer an option because he is not safe in their backyard. He knows there is no boundaries and he doesn't always learn from first, second, or third mistakes so he is injured everytime he is there (the most recent will be in another blog).
We have so much going on and I am dealing with so many things personally that I just think now is not the time. I have to consider my life as it is and where it stands financially and Hawaii just can't be an option right now. I am heartbroken but what can I do? Even though he offered to pay it is not feasible...either way money would still be spent, PTO would still be used or not used and stress will continue to be a factor. I had to be wise and careful in my decision, it is just unfortunate.
However, I look forward to planning and saving for an amazing trip in June. I will be graduating, it will be summer and we can relax! We can do so much more then, maybe even visit another island, I still have yet to do that. It will come, I just have to be patient and wise with financial decisions.
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