Alone

I know that I am not alone in the physical sense. I have an amazing boyfriend whom I love to no end and who loves me more than anyone ever has...I also have family both his and mine and I have co-workers and friends. However, because of my guarded personality I don't have close friends. I don't have friends that I just call up and chat with...or like now, when I am down and needing to talk I have no where to go, so I turn to a blog in hopes that it will relieve some pain and pressure. It's not that people won't be there to listen, I know they will, the problem is I don't know who I could call and I don't want to be a burden. For some reason I feel it is unfair for me to discuss what is going on with me to someone...I should be there for them and what they are going through, not the other way around. I love being the person that people come to for advice or just to have me listen, that's who I am. However, I feel I have no one to go to when I need a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on. I've lost the people who I thought I could trust for that, and now I don't know who to trust. I hate being guarded but I don't know what else to do. I just want someone to allow me to cry, talk and be me and try to understand.