Birthday

My birthday was this last Monday, the 20th. Matt and I celebrated my birthday during the weekend since we thought that he was going to be working on the day of. We spent most of the day Saturday wandering around Northfield Shopping Center, which was exausting but fun. We ended up having to eat Qdoba...ugh! I do not recommend it. I will stand by Chipotle till the end of time! Qdoba's chicken tasted like rubber chicken horribly cooked at a BBQ. It was disgusting. Anyway, on Sunday we relaxed and went to dinner at Red Lobster. Although Matt hates seafood and their choice for steak are not that inviting, he goes for me every year on my birthday.
On Monday I went to work and tried to pass it off that it wasn't my birthday - - I didn't even put it on our calendar; however, I failed to remember that Lara's brother's birthday was the same day so she remembered and everyone pitched in for an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. It was so sweet of them, I really didn't need anything at all. Matt ended up being home the night of my birthday so we walked around the Cherry Creek Mall and admired things we couldn't have :) and then went and ate at Las Delicias which is a mexican restaurant.

Oddly enough I found this birthday very difficult. For a lot of reasons. It was like crossing over a hump, I know that I am still young and everything but it was still difficult to cross over to the other side of 25. How stupid is that? I feel as though I am not where I should be at in my life, although, the question really should be, who decided where I should be at this point in my life. I just notice others my age who are married, having children, buying a house, settling in at their job, etc and I don't have any of that. I am not saying that I am ready for all of that yet, but I am afraid that is where my concern lies. I worry that I am on the wrong track or path and am not going to be ready until I may be too old. I know it all sounds stupid but I can't help but think it. It was also hard not having many close friends near by to celebrate. I also found it hard when the people I considered friends only wished me Happy Birthday on Facebook. I know that sounds stupid too. I just thought that my "best friend" would at least consider a text or quick phone call, but I guess not. However, I still enjoyed all of the birthday wishes online, it made me feel appreciated and cared about. Of course I still had other text messages as well for my Birthday which I was so happy to get and couldn't believe those people cared enough about me to send me a text. As a side note, I am not mad at anyone who didn't text me...except the one person who I thought was my best friend and I am finding out they are not. I just wanted to throw that out there ;)

So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I think now is a good time to go through things that I have experienced in my life...good and bad that make me the person I am today. I have come a long way and have fought with everything I have to achieve what I have and be where I am. Life is not always easier...in fact I think it gets harder, but that's okay. I have come a long way from who I used to be. I know that when things seem hard, everything will still be okay in the end. I just have to look at what I have and who I have by my side and know that I am going to be okay. I also have learned to believe in Karma, if you never see the good side, never believe in yourself, or do bad things...it will come back to bite you in the ass. BUT if you can TRY to find the good side of things or realize that you are going to be okay no matter what, and do something nice every now and then, Karma will help you in the end.
I have also come a long with my schooling, I am almost done! It is so hard to believe. I have this next weekend, 2 more classes (4 weekends) and then I am done; except my internship. It is just crazy to believe that I will be done with the class portion of my education and know that in a year or so I could be a therapist! Crazy!
I think one of the most important things I have ever done was move. I moved from La Crosse when no one thought I would, I moved across states-1000 miles away, I also have been gone for 2 1/2 years with no plan of moving back (or visiting) when everyone thought I wouldn't last a year. Moving was the best decision I have ever made. It improved my independance, made me appreciate things I didn't before, given me opportunities that I don't think I could have had in La Crosse and it has shown me who my true friends are and who I can trust. I have also found an amazing boyfriend whom I love and can see a future with, and with him came an amazing family that has accepted and supported us and me from the beginning.

Lastly, I cannot forget what other memories my birthday holds. On July 20th, 2001 4 people passed away; 2 of them were friends who I had known for years. I hold memories with both and every year I remember that tragic day when 4 young peoples lives ended. Although it has been 8 years it is still hard, and although I may not have been as close as others were with them, I still hold memories and sometimes I still feel guilty for wanting to celebrate. That year we lost so many people...those losses brought people together, tore them apart and taught us all lessons; lessons, reminders and memories that I take with me everyday. Julia, Tyra, Steve and Cory you will never be forgotten, in our hearts you will always remain.